Such a MONDAY

After 2 blood draws, trying to eat some berries....

Wonder who did this....??

DEEP BREATH. Got up late this morning. Luckily my barking dogs did what my internal clock or alarm clock didn't. I might have slept all day. (sigh, that would be nice) I was 15 minutes late giving London her Prograf. Bad Mum. Jonah is still sleeping, so here's the plan-finish meds, get LuLu's milk-pump-a-pumpin', get her some nibbles that she probably wont nibble. (lately she seems to not need to eat or drink, ever) then I'll wake Jones up to get him ready for Preschool, feed and water him while getting London ready for her clinic appointment at Primarys, where I'll go straight to after dropping Jonah off in Murray by our old house for his school, (opposite ends of town) after the hospital I'll dash straight back out to pick him up (hopefully somewhat on time), somewhere in the midst of all this I'll brush my teeth and get myself ready-eating would be a luxury I'll do without this morning.

LuLu wouldn't eat but played in her food and made herself a big mess, there's no time for a bath. She likes to use her morning strawberries (or anything else on her plate) as a phone-which is adorable but makes for awfully sticky hair. Luckily, she has a the trusty tube down her nose as a backup which has been more of a primary feeding source lately. Jonah was Jonah, cute and sweet...but slow as can be. I sounded like a broken record all morning, he probably gets sick of hearing me rush him along too, that is if he's even hearing me. Maybe I need to get his ears checked. Put that on my list.

LuLu pooped right after I got her in her car seat so five more minutes lost...can't be mad at her. We all poop. Her timing is just always bad. I'm getting later by the minute but am finally on the freeway with no phone- I left it in James' truck last night. Can't call Miss Joy to tell her we are running late, can't call the hospital to tell them we are running even later. My gas light is on. How long has that been there? Pray to the Gasoline Gods to just let me get to the hospital before we run out on the side of the road. I then got pulled over for speeding. More time lost. Shame on me I thought as I looked at what was in my backseat. Embarassing. Who cares if we're a bit late?-slow down, I remind myself. But let me tell you.. being late to clinic, making Q. (short for Queen) Book wait is comparable in my book to being late for a job interview. You just don't do it. It provokes such anxiety in me. I value her time, I'd never want them waiting on ME. Mondays are VERY busy with clinic and if you make them behind, you make a lot of other people behind too.

I arrive, 25 minutes late and check in, I wanted to put a bag over my head--the waiting room is packed. I fell asleep standing up for a bit, then snagged us a chair. I was greeted a few minutes later by Natalie (clinic coordinator, and sweetest person ever) saying they didn't have us on the schedule. (all this for nothin'? I am thinking, fight back the tears LIZ) We tried to reconcile the mix-up and she offered to squeeze me in to be seen. THANKS, but NO THANKS. I don't feel London is in any imminent danger and we'd be waiting forever. I decide we will just do labs and they can review them and we will reschedule to be seen. So, I go down to pre-register for labs and the lady asks me if I'll be seeing Dr. Book as well- "no, not today" I say, she doesn't need to hear about the mix up or how my days been going thus far. "Well, I have you down for seeing her at 11, you should already be up there." My day planner never lies. I explain to her now there was a scheduling error and I'll just be doing the labs.

So we're off to the lab, more waiting. Trying to breathe, ZENness Liz, keep it together Liz, center yourself a bit Liz. I still have a long day ahead. We go back for her blood draw, she knows where she is and what's about to go down. The woman sticks her arm, nothing-no blood. It didn't even look like she was anywhere near a vein. She fished around for a few minutes as Lu is crying and fighting for what she must think is her life, looking at ME as I'm holding her tight in my arms trying to sing our song over her screams. Please pull it out lady, try again. It might have been her first day. I am always extra kind and understanding when someone is learning...but it's hard to be patient when your child is suffering because of a lack of expertise. I kept silent, was nice. Second try in her hand-- no blood. Bloody hell, please get some blood soon or I will cry. She hit the button for some back up and finally drew some blood back all the while London is watching my face as she screams and I'm worried her tiny arm is going to detach from her body like my Barbie doll's use to. There were 3 of us holding it as her body thrashed.

They were preparing for a third stick and I was preparing for an anxiety attack as they caluculated they barely had enough to get by. Thanks to the blood God's for that. I would have like to have seen Farrah and Harmonee but I had to get out of the hospital and AGAIN-I didn't have my phone to call her, I couldn't have gone into the PICU with Lu anyways and I would barely be getting Jonah on time as it was. So off we went, fingers crossed again that we make it to a gas station in time. I just wanted to call someone who cared. Which would be James so I could complain or laugh or whatever...but I couldn't cause I didn't have my PHONE. I made it to Phillips 66 and what do you know? They had a payphone that was half way pulled out of the ground so I'd have been surprised if it worked anyways. I started filling up my car and even though it was just several steps away, I took my keys out and locked the doors (windows down of course)- I had flashes of being on the evening news. "Carjacked with baby in the back seat...needs medication ASAP etc etc. AMBER alert etc. etc." No thank you, not today. So I watched my car as I put a DOLLAR in the phone for a local call and called my better half.

The phone was dirty (dirty, dirty), didn't work well and I was limited on time anyways so our conversation was brief and to the point. I word vomited, he listened and loved me. He did give me some really good news though, he got word (since he had my cell) that Harmonee received a good offer for a liver. Surgery tonight!!!!! I got in the car sanitized my hands and my right ear (promise I did) and off I went to get Jonah. No speeding this time. Made it home to the house I can't keep clean but is filled with love and happiness. LuLu asleep in her crib, Jonah next door playing with friends. Life is good. Anyone have a Xanax?

xoxo

lizzie

alpha 1, liver mum

ps....phone just rang. being rushed back up to the hospital. bad labs....to be continued.