No, not mine-- although those are my running shoes. Of course I mean Ashley, our donor. She was only 12 when she died but she was so good and she was wise and she was smart and she was kind and she was beautiful from the inside out. She was so beyond her years it's incredible. She had an undeniable spark.
Every parent wants to do their very best by their children. Raise them right, turn their good little ones into good big ones. I want nothing more. I hope LuLu will be much like Ashley. I hope she will have a deep love for animals because a good heart is not far behind and care about the weak and friendless like Ashley did. I feel pressure that is hard to explain, my daughter is alive because someones daughter isn't. I think about this everyday. LuLu's liver MuM just sent me a picture text of Ashley's sisters, Abby and Sammy. It was taken from behind, the sun setting in front of them. It was peaceful and beautiful and so very Vernal. I was sorry that Ashley wasn't sitting next to them. There was room for her in the frame. I'm sure Camie thinks that every time she snaps a shot. Some days this makes me so sad I cry while I'm vacuuming, folding laundry or catch a delicious glimpse of LuLu laughing and playing. I'm crying for what they lost and for what I gained. I remember that so many people are missing Ashley while we are devouring LuLu. A day will never go by where I wont recognize Ashley in our lives. Camie and I never end a conversation or a text message without an I love you. And I do LOVE her. And I do LOVE Ashley's Dad.
God knew we needed each other to get through this. That is why the stars aligned as they did so we could meet just days after LuLu's transplant and Ashley's death. What nobility these parents and loved ones of donors have to give life when their loved ones couldn't be preserved any longer. And what a responsibility us parents of recipients and recipients themselves have of living lives worthy of that sacrifice. It is both a burden and an inspiration to me at the same time
Fill those shoes LuLu. Fill those shoes.
xoxo
lizzie
alpha1-liver mum
6 comments:
Hope you know that you are an inspiration as well Lizzie. Brought tears to my eyes as usual. I have no doubts that Lulu will fill those shoes and then some! xoxo
How fitting this last week was with Memorial day and all. Last week my daughter brought home her yearbook from Vernal Middle School and the first thing she wanted to show me was Ashley's page. I felt saddened in a way to not see a picture of LuLu there. She is so much a part of Ashley. Ashley lives on through Lulu and what a joy that must be to Camie and you. You have both been such a great example to me. I think of you all often even though I know neither of you. I only wish that 28 years ago when my brother was killed tragicly that we would have been able to do what Ashley did for you.
WOW...Liz that was so sweet and so touching! I love how you can express the PERFECT things to say:) You are so amazing and you have such a beautiful family.... I don't know Ashley, but I am so thankful to her and her wonderful family for giving your darling little Lulu a chance to stay here on this earth and to be able to touch more lives, and to be an example to everyone around her. I am also thankful to you for sharing all of your personal experiences, it helps me what to be a better person.
I ment to put WANT to be a better person not what to be..haha oh well:)
amazing post as usual.
I love seeing pic of lulu and all the amazing things she does!
Of course I had tears running down my face with this post just like many times before!
Oh Lizze, I can only imagine feeling that burden everyday! I talk about your blog alot to my friends and show them your sweet baby Lulu and I often talk about Ashley and how hard that must be for her sweet family! Beautiful post and I have no doubt baby Lulu will fill those shoes! Much love being sent your way!!
Post a Comment